What Hurts The Most
by NeonShoeStrings
Summary: She shouldn't be feeling this way. Not when there are so many dangers, way too many consequences. Yet, she finds herself falling for him anyway, but he doesn't have to know that.
1. Chapter 1

What Hurts The Most

Chapter One: Confrontation Aftermath

All he's ever known is love.

Love and acceptance.

Love from his mom, his other mom, and -even though it may have been a scarce existence in years past- his dad.

Love from Jesus. Love from Marianna. They've grown up together and even though its never really been said before, she knows they do love him like family. Like blood-related family. Which sometimes she forgets they aren't.

Even from his now-out-of-the-picture girlfriend. Sure, Tayla had been a crazy-ass bitch, but that didn't mean she didn't love him. Maybe she loved him a little too much though. So much she thought it necessary to get ridiculously insecure over the slightest thing and try and lock him up, keeping him all to herself.

He was accepted by his peers, his teachers, practically everyone he ever met. Because to them, all he was was a rich white kid with a passion for music and a good natured, but sort of out of hand family.

In all honesty, that's all he was.

She wasn't surprised about what happened, it was when it happened that caught her off guard. She had excepted it later rather than sooner.

When he confronted her on the porch and put himself out there, admitting to his feelings and convincing her that they would be worth the risk.

She had to admit she had been impressed. For once in his life he was going against the system. Foster kids and real kids weren't allowed to date. He knew that just as well as she did.

But, even though he was ready to tell her how he felt, she wasn't ready to do the same.

She'd known way more emotions than just love.

She'd known heartbreak, betrayal, devastation, sorrow, anger, bitterness, solemn, and the one thing all those emotions had in common; a long lasting effect.

She'd foolishly given her heart away too many times to be so careless with it now.

She'd been hurt too many times to give in so easily.

But a part of her couldn't help believe that Brandon was different.

Maybe it was the fact that, on the very first day he had even met her, he blew off his music audition, risked his life, got a gun pointed at him, and helped her when she needed help the most.

He knew nothing about her, he still doesn't know everything (and she plans on keeping it that way) yet he was willing to trust her, put his faith in something unknown to him, and that was something not a lot of people had been willing to do for her lately.

she allowed herself to feel grateful towards him and that was when all the trouble started.

After that, it was a great big jumble off emotions that hit her, half of them she didn't understand.

The events leading up to the confrontation had only made those feelings grow.

The lunch periods spent in the music room, just the two of them and no one else. Unless Tayla decided to drop in and make an in welcomed visit.

Giving her his old guitar, teaching her the chords, and even practicing with her.

The dance practices and dancing with him at Marianna's quinceanera.

Then, when he told her he had broken up with Tayla.

And of coarse, their little chat on the porch.

It was all just a little too overwhelming for her liking.

"Hey Callie," Lena pipes up ass she enters the kitchen, interrupting Callie in her mess of thoughts.

Callie only nods as a reply and then looks back down to the bowl of cereal she's barely touched.

"You ready for school?"

"Uh, yeah," she proceeds to dump the cereal in the sink and then grabs her book bag.

She catches Lena pushing Marianna, Jude, and Jesus out the door as Brandon comes down the stairs.

He saunters into the kitchen and notices her presence. "Morning Callie."

She nods again, hiking the strap of her bag higher on her shoulder.

Things had been awkward between the two since the other night and she was pretty sure everyone had noticed.

The hasn't spoken since, all thanks to her. He always tried, but she refused to listen. She'd just pretend like she didn't know what he was talking about and then walk away.

Today was no exception.

"Callie, I think we should-"

"Be getting to school?" She suggests, not even making eye contact with him. "Yeah, I agree."

She can hear Brandon sigh behind her as she rushes through the front door.

This is working for now, but Brandon's a determined person and she's not gonna be able to ignore him forever.

But, she can -and will- avoid this conversation he's so adamant about having with her for as long as she can.

Callie looks up at the clear blue sky as the car starts up and begins taking the familiar route to school. She wishes she could be happy about something so simple as a nice day and a clear sky.

She sighs, slumping back in her seat and biting her thumb nail. She smiles sadly at the thought of her mother who always used to chide her jokingly about what a bad habit that was.

Callie glances Brandon's way, not for very long though. It's a quick glance.

Why?

Why does this always happen to her?

Why does she always want what she can't have?

Maybe there was no denying it now.

Maybe slowly she was giving in to her human emotions.

She was falling for Brandon Foster.

She could admit it to herself, but Brandon didn't have to know.

If she had it her way, he never would.

**A/N**

**I'm absolutely in love with this show and this pairing. So, I took time out of my not-all-that-busy life to write this story instead of writing my other one.**

**I was reading some of the stories for this fandom last night and I just couldn't help myself. I had to write one. I'm really hoping that Callie is as in character as I think she is.**

**I'm not sure how often it'll be update, I'm fairly good about that. Just bear with me I guess.**

**You should leave a review, I think you really should. In fact, I think you would enjoy leaving a review. I know I would enjoy it.**

**Kthanxbai!**


	2. Giving Up And Giving In Are Two

What Hurts The Most

Chapter Two: Giving In and Giving Up Are Two Different Things

It's just her luck that on the same night she told everyone she wasn't gonna go to the poetry slam, Brandon tells them all he's sick and stays home.

Of coarse she knows he's not sick, and if his parents hadn't been so distracted with getting all the kids ready to leave in time, they would have saw through all his bullshit.

Unfortunately for Callie, they leave without him, making her and Brandon the only two in the house for a good two hours.

So she does the only thing she can think to do; she locks herself in the bathroom.

Granted, she can't sit on the cold, linoleum floor the whole time without it looking a little suspicious, but since her and Marianna's bedroom door doesn't lock -as do none of the bedroom doors in the Foster household- it doesn't leave her with many options.

"You can't stay in there forever," Brandon's voice comes through the door, slightly muffled.

Callie sighs and shuffles to her feet before unlocking the bathroom door and walking toward the kitchen.

Brandon follows with such quiet footfalls she glances back quickly to see if he's really still there.

Callie opens the double doors of the fridge, snagging a bowl of grapes for herself. She pops a few into her mouth and eyes him carefully.

He looks up from his phone screen and instantly they lock eyes, letting several moments pass before looking away.

"So, you plan on going out with him again?" The small trace of disgust in his voice leads her to believe he's referring to Wyatt.

Her jaw locks and she gives a cold glare. "I'm gonna need you to stop making me feel like the bad guy."

"I wasn't," he replies simply.

"No, you're right, because Wyatt's the bad guy, right?"

It does take long after that for them to start screaming at each other.

"He's not good for you Callie. How can you not understand that? That lifestyle from your past that you're dying to get away from, that's him. He's gonna get you in serious trouble!"

"He's gonna get me in trouble? Wyatt's gonna get me in trouble?" He nods at her rhetorical question. "Brandon, you and I can only end in trouble! You and I can't happen! There's way too much on the line for both of us!"

"Why are you so afraid to let people in?" His tone soften as he steps closer to her.

"I can't expect you to understand," her voice is barely above a whisper, "you're life may not be perfect, but it's not nearly as horrible as mine was, as mine is. This isn't my life Brandon. It's not my home, it's not my family, and it never will be. I just have to accept that. Just like you have to accept that we can't happen."

"I'm never gonna accept that," Brandon replies with a shake of his head.

"Brandon," she speaks his name softly and her voice breaks as she does, "you don't know me like you think you do. There are things about me that if you knew, you wouldn't want to be with me, you wouldn't even wanna know me."

"Don't say that," he steps closer to her once more. "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone does things their not proud of, but that doesn't make them bad people."

She doesn't reply, she doesn't think she can because tears are welling up, but she's mentally kicking herself in the ass, reprimanding herself for being so weak.

"I understand you're scared, but I can't sit around, watching you fall in love with other guys because, Callie, I think I love you."

"No!" She screams, barely getting it out as a she chokes on a lump developing in her throat. "Don't say that! Don't make this harder than it already is!"

Brandon backs away for a second, taking in the sight of the girl in front of him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

She bites her lip and nods, almost reluctantly.

"Are you not giving me a chance because you can't, or because you don't want to?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

She pauses, fighting back tears and resting her head in her palms.

Callie lifts her head up from her hands and locks eyes with Brandon once again.

"I can't," she squeaks out.

Brandon nods, slowly closing the distance between them and capturing her lips in a long awaited kiss.

And she doesn't hesitate, it's almost instant when she kisses back. They pour out every emotion into that one gesture; longing, lust, desire, bliss pleasure. His hands rest firmly on each of her hips and she unconsciously grabs fistfuls of his shirt.

It's a hungry, yet heartfelt kiss, so much that Callie wants to shelter herself in the kiss, keeping herself safe and protected from all the bad things that have happened in her past and those surely awaiting her in the future.

To both of their displeasure, Brandon pulls away, his face still hovering above hers.

"You need to learn that something's are just worth the risk,"

Her rigid breathing is the only sound that comes from the brunette.

"Goodnight Callie," Brandon leans in again, this time kissing her forehead instead of her lips that so desperately yearn to be kissed by his talented mouth again.

He steps away and this time disappears upstairs, leaving Callie alone with her thoughts.

Her many, many thoughts.

She sighs in defeat.

It seems the two of them are at a stale-mate.

He's not giving up.

And she's not giving in.

There's no two ways about it.

**A/N**

**And chapter two is finished! And, this time I wasn't lazy and I actually proof-read it, so you're welcome. **

**Sorry it's not a very long update, but it's still something. **

**Thanks to kristinabenoit1, Bhavana331, Sheryl-Queen-B, TheMysteriousBeauty, ausllylover2345, thoughts like stars, lilcupcake03, . .x, 22, and the guests who reviewed. Keep it up!**

**Okay, that's all.**

**Kthanxbai!**


	3. Here Comes A Lullaby

What Hurts The Most

Chapter Three: Here Comes A Lullaby

It's definitely not the first time she's had a nightmare, and she knows it won't be the last.

Her heart is beating several miles a minutes and her whole entire body is shaking as hot, sticky sweat rolls down her forehead.

She pants loudly, filling her lungs with much needed air and quickly glances Marianna's way as she remembers she's not the only one in the room.

Callie's surprised when a snore escapes the girl, expecting her to have been woken up, but glad she isn't.

Callie looks down in disgust at the large spots of blood staining the sheets.

Sometimes it really sucked being a girl.

She sighs and bunches the sheets up to take them downstairs for washing. She wasn't gonna get any sleep done anyway.

She's careful on the stairs not to step on the squeaky boards. It's three in the morning so she's planning on not waking anyone up.

Callie makes it to the laundry room, quiet as a mouse. She's not entirely sure how washing machines work since she's never had much experience with them. Most of her foster families did the laundry themselves, leaving her and Jude to attend to more unsightly chores such as cleaning the toilet.

She remembers a particular foster mom, a red-headed old lady with a nasty attitude who always had too much make-up on her face, who let her cats and dogs do their business wherever in the house they damn well pleased and would always make Callie clean it up.

Callie cringes at the thought, the faint smell of cat urine wafts into her nose and makes her want to gag.

Then there was Jack, her last foster dad, who would beat her if she even thought about touching the washing machine, let alone use it to do laundry.

Nevertheless, she shoves the sheets in, pours in some laundry detergent, and presses the start button. If she fucks it up then she guesses she'll just have to buy the Fosters new ones.

Callie looks out the window, staring up at the full moon. It illuminates back into the laundry room making it the only light.

Callie sighs and sits down on a stool, staring blankly at the dark wall in front of her.

Memories of the dream creep back into her head and the shadows play tricks on her mind. She grows uncomfortable and unsafe in the dark room by herself and when a shadow slips by the window, she nearly looses it. It scares her shitless and she falls off the stool, knocking her head on the wall behind her.

"Fuck," she hisses and suddenly she hears a shuffling noise. Feet come tromping across the floor and if she wasn't scared before she sure is now.

She hides her face from whatever is coming after her, burying it in her arms.

Their steps get louder as they approach the laundry room.

Her heart and mind are in a frozen state of panic.

The light flips on so she knows they've definitely caught her.

This is it.

She must brace herself for what comes next.

"Callie?"

Callie head jerks up.

It's only Brandon.

She lets out a relieved breath and places a hand on her raging heart as it thuds against her chest.

"Are you okay? You look scared to death. And what are you doing down here?" He asks, stepping closer to her.

She could ask him the same thing, but she doesn't.

Instead, she gets up and walks away, but a warm hand grabs her wrist before she can run off like she had planned to.

"Let go of me," she insists.

"I find you in here in the middle of the night and you don't think you have some explaining to do?" Brandon says.

"What are you doing down here, huh? Why am I the only one being interrogated?"

He lets go of her and after giving her time to run away, which she doesn't, he proceeds to talk again. "You wanna know what I was doing down here?"

"Yeah, that's probably why I asked," she bites back harshly. Being freaked out had made her forget she was still mad at him.

"Okay, I was hungry so I came down here to get something to eat," he begins to explain. "I was sitting on the couch and I must have fell asleep, until I was woken up by you messing around in the laundry room."

"I wasn't messing around," she defends quietly.

He crosses his arms over his chest and looks her in the eyes. "Then care to explain why you were up at almost four in the morning casually sitting in the laundry room?"

She doesn't say anything because she doesn't really know how to answer. She doesn't really want to admit to Brandon she had to come down here to wash the sheets she bled all over.

"Do you have an answer or what?" He asks, getting impatient.

"If you really must know, Brandon, I forgot to wear a tampon and so I had to come down here to wash the blood out of my sheets!" Callie says through gritted teeth. "Are you happy now?"

"Well, you could have spared me such details," he says, shifting uncomfortably.

"You're the one who wanted to know so badly," she pushes past him and starts off down the hallway.

Brandon can't help but notice something about her demeanor was off and she was trying really hard not to let it show.

"Are you okay?" He asks, she stops in her tracks.

"I'm fine," she answers simply.

"No you aren't."

"Well, if you knew the answer why'd you ask the question?" She shouts as quietly as she can.

He shakes his head, refusing to believe she's really okay. He walks up to her, grabs her shoulders gently, and pushes her in the direction of the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

Brandon pulls out a chair and gestures to it.

"Sit your ass down," he says.

She looks at him in disbelief and he starts to think his tone was too much.

But, she sits down anyways and he sits on the other side.

"What does it even matter to you?" She mumbles, picking at her fingernails.

"There's this thing called caring about people," he says sarcastically. "Even when they are being extremely difficult."

"Difficult? You think I'm being difficult? Brandon, you're the very definition of being difficult!"

"That may be so," he replies easily. "All I know is that I woke up and found you sitting there in the dark looking terrified. Like someone just about murdered you."

She takes a sharp intake of breath and sudden realization hits Brandon.

"You had a nightmare didn't you?" His tone changes from harsh and demanding to soft and comforting.

She doesn't say anything, but the look in her eyes is enough answer.

"How did you know?" She asks still not looking at him.

"When Marianna and Jesus were younger, they use to have nightmares, and they had the same look in their eyes that you do now. I use to comfort them."

She huffs, really starting to get annoyed that everyone could always tell what she was thinking or how she she was feeling.

Especially Brandon. He seemed to be able to read her like a book.

"You want to talk about it?"

She blinks, nodding her head and thinking about where to begin. "Uh, it was really dark and hot. I was locked up in, I don't know, a closet maybe. I heard voices, but I didn't know what any of them were saying. Everything was quiet for a while...and then he opened the door-"

"He who? Your foster dad?" Brandon interjects.

Callie shakes her head.

"Liam."

"_Sorry for the interruption. Where were we?" Liam leans in until there's little to no space between them._

_"Liam!" She pushes him away as best she can. "Let me out of here! I don't want to be here!"_

_"Now, now, don't be so hasty, babe," he says with dark eyes. He lowers himself to her level and kisses her roughly, but she fights back with all her strength._

_Finally, when she escapes his grip, she bangs on the door and screams. "Help! Someone help me!"_

_Liam grabs her waist and throws her against the opposite wall. "Shut the fuck up! You don't want to get caught do you?" Then his lips turn into a twisted smile. "How do you think it's gonna look when they find me in here with the trashy foster girl? It won't be good for you."_

_She wants to cry because she knows the truth behind those words. _

_He gets really close to her face and whispers in her ear. All she wants to do scream at him, "Get your hands off me you son of a bitch!" But she doesn't, because she can't._

_"You're a pawn in my game, Callie. You have to do what I say if you want to survive, understand?"_

_She swallows sharply and nods as her throat goes dry and she stiffens with fear. _

Callie finally looks at Brandon when she's done with her story. If you could really call it that.

Brandon has no words. Only the strong urge to punch something.

"I thought I saw him yesterday," she speaks up, the terror evident in her voice.

"Where?"

"At school. I only saw him for a second, if it even was him."

"He couldn't possibly know where you're at," Brandon does his best to calm her down.

"You don't know what he's capable of."

She sighs, feeling the tears coming on.

Brandon sees this and gets up to hug her, but stops, silently asking if its okay to embrace her.

She nods in conformation, so he wraps his arms around her and rubs her back while she cries into his chest.

"I wish it was just a dream," she sobs against his shirt, "I wish it hadn't really happened."

"Wait, so you actually had sex with that jerk?" Brandon asks furiously.

"I had no choice," she says quietly, "he had too much on me."

Brandon looks down at her feeling a strong sense of protection. He knows this guy must have really scared her if she was actually willing to cry over what he did.

He stops rubbing only so he can grip her tighter.

"He still does."

Brandon lets go reluctantly and walks past Callie.

"Where are you going?" She wipes away tears, but more are starting to surface as she thinks he's going to abandon her.

"I'll be back," he promises and she believes him.

He disappears upstairs, but returns with the guitar he'd given her.

She looks confused, but lets him take her hand and lead her outside.

They sit on the soft grass of the backyard and Brandon tunes the guitar.

"You know what else I use to do when Marianna and Jesus had nightmares?" He asks.

She shakes her head and points to the guitar. "I'm guessing it had something to do with that."

"You'd be correct," he laughs, "I used to sing to them. It made them calm down."

Callie smiles and looks down at the ground. "Brandon, I really don't think a lullaby is gonna make me feel better."

"Funny you should say that," he comments and begins to strum.

_I know the feeling,_

_Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge_

_And there ain't no healing,_

_From cutting yourself with the jagged edge_

_I'm telling you that,_

_It's never that bad,_

_Take it from someone whose been where your at_

_Laid out on the floor,_

_And your not sure,_

_You can take this anymore_

_So just give it one more try,_

_To a lullaby, _

_And turn this up on the radio_

_If you can hear me now,_

_I'm reaching out,_

_To let you know that you're not alone_

_And if you can't tell,_

_I'm scared as hell,_

_Cause I can't get you on the telephone_

_So just close your eyes_

_Honey here comes a lullaby_

_Your very own lullaby_

He stops playing and looks at her. "Did that help?"

"It did. Thanks." She smiles.

"You're welcome, we should probably be getting back inside."

She nods and they both get up off the ground.

She follows Brandon upstairs where he hugs her one last time.

"Goodnight Callie," he whispers.

"Goodnight Brandon."

They let go of each other and head their separate ways.

Callie wraps herself in the blanket on her bed and instantly falls asleep.

Maybe she should be sung lullabies more often.

**A/N**

**Awww! Just a fluffy chapter! I'm sad to say this is just the beginning of Liam's part in this story. :(**

**I was really disappointed with the lack of Brallie in this weeks episode, so I took it upon myself to give you guys this to possibly tie you over until next Monday.**

**Song used in this chapter was Lullaby by Nickelback (One of my very favorite bands ever!)**

**Thanks to ausllylover2345, thoughts like stars, SweettFace, Sheryl-Queen-B, kristinabenoit1, and lilcupcake03 for reviewing the last chapter.**

**Guys, follow me on Twitter. I would really appreciate it. It's the 'at' sign and then NeonShoeStrings.**

**Reviews are appreciated as always!**

**Kthankxbai!**


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